In the words of others.

Mohammed Ali said "Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth." I spend most of my days rushing to accomplish all of the things I have set out for myself so that I have fewer things on the list to accomplish tomorrow. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me that tomorrow comes and I have just as many things on that day's list as well.

Yesterday while in the shower I was so irritated that I was still showering in the dark. We began renovating the upstairs bathroom a year and a half ago. Anyone who knows us, knows that it took FOREVER to accomplish anything in this house. So probably about 6 months ago we painted the walls and hung the light fixture. Then- 2 months ago the light just stopped working. I gently reminded that the light didn't work. I proded that the light didn't work, I threw temper tantrums, stomped my feet, crossed my arms and pouted that the light didn't work. Needles to say, none of those tactics worked. I have been bathing my children and showering in the dark since. Now, I have managed to learn to do a lot of things for myself, but I'm afraid that electrical work just isn't one of those things. So, in true 2010 fashion I head to Facebook to let out my frustrations. I get a chuckle out of the image of me holding a flashlight and trying to shower, and even full out laugh picturing myself wearing a miner's hat in the shower. And then something that I did not expect to happen, happened. An offer to come fix my light. I am horrible at accepting help and I will avoid it at all costs. I will make a million excuses for why someone does not, or should not have to help me. Soon all of my Facebook friends were ganging up on me and telling me to stop being so stubborn. And sure enough the entire Simoneau clan pulled into my driveway. In just a short while I had a functioning bathroom light. Peyton was beaming with pride because "he got to help, I even went in the basement and flipped the things." Carson was so excited to learn to shoot a gun on Wednesday that I don't think he could fall asleep if I paid him to. There was much wrestling, horseplay and toy dumpage all around. We ate pizza around the dining room table and we had fun.

After they left I took a minute to think. After all, that was one of the messages at church on Sunday. How often do we just stop and think about what has happened, what is going to happen and why things happen. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family members that I can also call friends. They didn't need to spend the evening at my house fixing my light and buying me and my herd dinner. But they did, because that is what family is for. We were not put here on this Earth to focus on ourselves. We should take time to help others. We should realize that not everyone will ask for help (I know, I know) and we should offer help when we see that there is a need.

I have found strength that I never knew existed, yes in the everyday things like being able to drive on the highway, grocery shop alone, call people I don't know-but also in being able to stand up for myself and demand to be treated with respect. I believe that reality has finally set in and he doesn't know what to do, so he resorts to what he does best. There were many not so nice things said to me last night. 6 months ago I would have sat here and cried thinking that those things were true. Henry S. Firestone said "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." I realize that I am learning who I am and who I really am is nowhere near who I thought I was for so very long. I find myself slipping back into my old ways. I find myself apologizing for things I have no control over. I find myself explaining things that really require no explanation. I read Henry Kissinger's quote "Accept everything about yourself-I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end-no apologies, no regrets." And that so closely mirrors what I have been told by a very dear friend in the last few days that I can't help but believe that that is true. I should not apologize for who I am. For in the words of one more smart man "Be who you are and say what you feel because those mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."